I am not even sure how it happens, but some days do you ever find yourself looking for one thing on pinterest and six hours later found yourself, somewhere completely different and maybe discovering something new to get into. You know, like your looking for ideas for a birthday party and before you know it, your looking at crazy cat videos or like me, you’re watching interviews with boys with names like Rap Monster and Jimin and discovering J-Hope might be the most wonderl and happy person you’ve ever seen. Or worse, finding you really love the new drama you’re watching but then Netflix recommends 8 more dramas and you just don’t have enough time.
I love and hate those times in equal measures. I love finding new things, I hate when you realise you have to be up in about 3 hours and you haven’t slept yet.
I did just that, I discovered something as I fell down a Pinterest/ YouTube rabbit hole and got a little obsessed with it. Not in a crazy stalker obsessed way, but I like what I like and when I discover a new passion, love or hobby. I go all in! Go big or go home was pretty much a saying made for me.
My latest crazy find, probably started a long time ago, but has been a slow burn. I have always loved a good comic, which as I earned more money, become a love for graphic novels and slowly moved onto Anime and Manga. Enter Studio Ghibli stage left. I was hooked, Howls Moving Castle might be one of my all time favourite films ever. I wanted to watch everything, but then as time passed and I had children and my attention shifted to everything being relating to them, I lost a bit of myself.
I think as parents we do, everything in life is suddenly all consumed with these small children ruling everything in our world. And that is brilliant, I love being a mum and I love that my children are my world but I think, and I don’t know if this is just me, but I forgot they aren’t literally my whole world, once you have children, you don’t have to swap all your favourite things for paw patrol and CBeebies. I don’t think anyone ever told me that, I think when I had children, my confidence took a bit of a hit, and I lost a bit of myself for a while. I think it happens because for a long time, babies and children need you to be all consumed by them, but eventually you need to claim back a bit of time for yourself, at least I do. I love my kids that goes without saying but I love me too. I love that I am a bit quirky, I have a geeky side, I love being mummy, but I also love being Tina. A big part of my confidence loss, was losing touch with things I like, for me. Doing things just because I love them, taking time to discover what new things I might be missing out on because I am always trying to make sure everyone else is happy. This is still hugely important to me but a happy Tina is a happy mummy. The part of me where I discovered loves for myself, is slowly returning, a lot of my time is taken up in knowing what my kids love, what they need/want. And this isn’t a bad thing at all, I love being close to my kids but it’s nice now they are older to remember that I am Me as well as mum. I am not completely back to the old me, and I wouldn’t want to be, as my children make me a better person, but I am slowly gaining my confidence back and discovering all new things, and rediscovering old passions, now I have some time to do this. Taking time for myself has been a massive learning curve for me, but it has done me a world of good. And the biggest and best part of this, is that everything I love or am crazy about, I can introduce to the kids and if they love it too, it’s just an extra thing we can have in common and love together. It gives us more things to do together. And if they don’t love it, it means I get to take some time to enjoy something on my own without feeling guilty because they wouldn’t be interested anyway. Win win!
I recently introduced them to Ghibli and thankfully for me, they love it. So I treated myself to some new Blu-rays for my birthday, so we have lots of family movie nights planned.
Onto my recent craze, I have become a fan of Asian dramas, I think it started because I watched an anime on Netflix and then it shows you related programmes and before you know it, I full on found myself watching K-Dramas and Chinese dramas and following post on Pinterest and Instagram. I think I originally just liked seeing the food, oh the food. It makes me hungry to watch and I get so inspired to try new food, which for me is huge, as I’m not a foodie by nature. I don’t plan my day around food, in fact some days I could go all day without eating, but seeing all of this yummy food really inspires me. But then I found myself falling for the stories and characters and wanting more, so now when you see my Netflix feed it has gone from 2/3 English tv and films to 90% Asian programmes,and I am not ashamed, I love them.
I imagine my friends are fed up of hearing about them but I think I must actually be quite sweet or endearing, or they just love me regardless of my little quirks, so they put up with me and my obsessive nature. It might be one of the things they all love about me, who knows, but I don’t think I am going to change anytime soon. So as well as being an introduction to my new love, this blog post is also an apology to my family and friends, I don’t think I am getting over it anytime soon, and I have also introduced the kids to some aspects of it and they love it too, so probably not going away, so I’m sorry, you might get you’re ear chewed off a little bit more.
So where is this little craze taken me so far? Well, not only am I loving the dramas and some of the actors (wow, pretty people) but I also am loving K-Pop. It’s been a very long time since I got excited by newer music, there have been some new bands and artists I like but for the majority, I pretty much listen to the same things I always have. Having a music and dance obsessed daughter has helped introduce me to some new music I love but k-pop is all me. I love it. I think BTS becoming huge in the last year has helped, as it has made it easier to get music and videos. Plus they are everywhere at the minute. They are very young, which makes me feel really old but I still love the music and the dancing. So much energy put into each song and the choreography is amazing. I think I’m probably a lot older than their average fan but I don’t feel old and I enjoy their music and I quite like the members. They all have unique and inspiring personalities! So I don’t think it matters I’m a little older than their usual audience!
The kids are also enjoying my k-pop moment as they quite like it too. Poppet likes to dance and sing, so she loves watching anything with a good beat and a dance she can copy. Monkey on the other hand used to love to dance and went to classes like poppet, but he quit and I think that although at home I have always tried to avoid boy/girl differences and have always said they can both do/act/play/like whatever they want, I think it can be hard once you get to school.
At home, I try my hardest to pass no judgement and let the kids do whatever they want, be whoever they want to be. So if monkey likes pink, brilliant! He wants to dance, crack on. But once he started school, and wasn’t with me 100% of the time, it didn’t matter what I said, suddenly the opinion of more than just me mattered. Sad day for me! 😞 Thankfully, he is quite a strong character and doesn’t usually let what others say bother him, but I have noticed a drop in his confidence and like I say he quit dancing. I don’t necessarily think anyone said outright dancing was for girls, but he definitely went through a stage of not wanting to do anything that would be seen as “girly’, and he has definitely been knocked back confidence wise. I am fine with this and I believe he will find himself and what he loves again, especially as he hasn’t completely lost his uniqueness, it’s jut taken a step back whilst he finds himself at school, finds his friends and discovers who He is and I know this might take years, but the best part of me discovering these new things, is that it can also be inspiring for my children. When monkey saw seven young men dancing in a band on tv and winning awards and putting together some amazing dance routines and singing, it really encouraged him and he has been watching the music videos on repeat and dancing along with them all weekend. It’s absolutely wonderful to see. So my new crazy obsession has become a bit of a family craze (not quite totally, as Mr BC is not on board, but this is my blog and the kids definitely take after me on the whole crazy personality side of things).
So my new quirky, love and inspiration for Asian food, dramas, music and entertainment, isn’t going anywhere. I will never again call the internet or social media as it opens up the world like nothing before. I may never get to visit any of these places as I am scared of flying but I can still follow all of these people and trends and see things that I wouldn’t have gotten to before. So my social media feeds might be covered in all things BTS, and my Pinterest boards might become a little more diverse. I collect obsessions like some people collect stamps or ornaments. I don’t lose one obsession when I gain a new one, I just keep collecting and adding to them. So my book reviews will still be continuing and my family will still go on crazy adventures, but it just might be infused with us singing along to Korean boy bands or trying out crazy dance moves in the living room.
That’s it, you’ve finally got to the end of my completely random, round up of my latest crazy obsession. Well done! Any of you dying to go google BTS or K-pop, go do it!
I’ll make it easy, here’s the official website for them. They have a huge social media presence and if pop/rapping/ a slight r n b vibe is your thing, go have a look. Even if it’s not, check out the dance moves anyway. I didn’t think it was my thing either, but I think I fell a little in love with them!
For now, don’t forget to spend a little time on you, make time for yourself, discover an old hobby of your own, or have fun finding a new craze. Trust me, I have loved discovering a new craze and Remembering what is it like to enjoy something for me!
See you soon, Butterfly Child xxx